To Dilate or Not to Dilate ? That's the Question

A popular approach when it comes to managing vaginismus is using dilators, yet so many people are intimidated by it, which is understanble given how little we are educated about them, or how to properly utilise them without feeling ashamed or fearful.

Vaginal dilation refers to the utilisation of tubelike devices made of either medical-grade silicon or plastic, that help strech out the vaginal tissue in order to relax them, once inserted inside the vagina. In addition to that, dilators tend to come in a set, where the size gradually increases, starting from the first that is comparable to a pinky finger, to the last that resembles the size of a penis, in order for the body to get slowly get accustomed to penetration, as for some the process might be rather quick going from one size dilator to another, whereas others just need a little more time, both physically and psychologically. With that being said, other than the fact that they come in different materials such as plastic that tends to strech the vagina more effectively but can feel rigid, or medical-grade silicone that is softer and more gentle to use, they also can come in different shapes ! For instance, some sets consist of dilators that bend a bit at the tip. What is important to keep in mind is that whichever type of dilator you feel comfortable utilising, you should pair it with a lubrificant, and if you end up choosing a silicone based one, make sure to pair it with a water-based lubrificant, as other types can damage the dilator.

One issue that individuals run through when starting their journey with dilators is shame, which makes perfect sense as I mentioned in great detail in my last post, however, there is a trick that could be helpful in managing this emotion. I find that focusing on the medical aspect of the process helps tremendously at the beginning, as you do not usually feel as ashamed if you remind yourself that this is a medical process, rather than surrounding it around your own pleasure. If and only when you move it from a medical to a pleasurable process, depends on you and what you are comfortable experimenting with, there are no specific rules when it comes to this activity ! There are even individuals who utilise them with a partner, medically or for pleasurable reasons, the options are endless. Moreover, you will also find that you begin to feel a lot more confident in not just your body's ability to heal, but also in yourself. The fact that you believe in yourself so much to start this journey is definitely a confidence booster, and one you should feel proud of regardless of the results. 

On a personal note, I felt a lot of fear and shame when I first got introduced to the idea of utilising a dilator. All my life I was taught that inserting a tampon, finger, or gynacological examinations should not be permitted up until marriage, yet I still gave it a shot, and I am so glad I did. I first started with a plastic one, that was as well pretty small in size, then gradually got a silicone set that also bent at the tip, which I found extremely helpful during insertion, of course while also using a water based lubrificant. It was not a smooth journey for me, I had periods where I quit, others where I felt invincible, and finally I came to the realisation that not every try has to be perfect for me to progress, even on the days where I felt like a "failure", they have definitely aided in my progression and treatment of vaginismus, due to the fact that I got to sit with the heavy emotions I would evoke, and truly comprehend why I felt the way I did. It is not a race, you have all the time in the world to figure out what you are comfortable with and how to proceed when you embark on this new journey ! 

Dilator recommendation: At Farmacia Bebe Tei

https://comenzi.bebetei.ro/viata-intima/vibratoare-pentru-femei/vibratoare-clasice/set-5-piese-pentru-dilatare-din-silicon-calexotics-p420718

Lubrificant recommendation: At Farmacia Dr Max



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