Vagi- what ?

Vaginismus is defined as a medical condition that causes involuntary muscle spams in the pelvic floor area, surrounding the vagina, causing debilitating pain in everyday normal activities such as the insertion of tampons/ menstrual cups, pelvic examinations, and even sexual intercourse. Such a condition is trauma based, which can be either physical or psychological, or even both.

As an integrative psychotherapist in supervision, and an individual that has been diagnosed with this condition roughly a year ago, this topic hits close to home. The reason for this blog is to not only bring awareness to the condition, but to also normalise it ! More than that, the reality is that women's health conditions are vastly underesearched in medicine, speaking from experience as a person who had to go through 5 different gynocologists in that one year in order to get the proper care and diagnosis, which came with much disappointment, gaslighting, and discouragement, a reason as to why so many women struggle with vaginimus yet have no idea about the existence of such a condition. Not to mention the fact that it is a costly diagnosis, in the sense that the cost of medical consulations, therapies, and treatments required in order to heal vaginismus is mostly accessible to a certain demographic here in Bucharest, those who are privilleged enough to not struggle economically.

I would be lying if I said that this is an easy thing for me to do. To be vulnerable about vaginismus is something I find myself doing slowly everyday, yet there still are moments where I struggle to accept it. I say this not for discouragement, but to rather keep in mind that healing is non-linear, there are days where I fully believe that I no longer hold shame in regards to this condition, and others where I find myself not to be as "healed" as I should be by this time, wether that is physically or mentally. I think the trick is to accept vaginismus for what it is, it started as a coping mechanism, and even though I am in no longer need of such a coping strategy, it helps to remember that it was just my body's way of helping me get through certain sitiuations in my life. By remembering that, it helps me feels less ashamed of it.